


A New(ish) Show

by NattyBoyTM



Series: Stan and Kyle's Epic British Road Trip [1]
Category: Monty Python RPF, South Park
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Pythonesqe Humour, References to Monty Python
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2019-06-26 19:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15669900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NattyBoyTM/pseuds/NattyBoyTM
Summary: It's the first day of the holidays in South Park, and all is well.Suddenly however, the boys decide to go on a road trip to Britain to meet Monty Python, so, yeah.





	1. A New(ish) Show

It was the first day of the holidays in South Park, and all was well.  
Stan, Kyle and Butters were sitting in Stan's living room, watching Jesus and Pals on TV.

"Hey guys! Let me tell you about this new..." Started Stan.

"Why are you speaking in that weird voice?" Asked Kyle.

"I'm not." He replied. "I just have a bit of a British accent after watching Monty Python for seven hours last night."

"What in the whole wide world is "Monty Python" Stan?" Asked Butters.

"You guys are seriously telling me that you have never seen Monty Python's Flying Circus?"  
Asked Stan with a look of pure shock on his face.

Suddenly Tweek and Craig burst through the door.  
"Have any of you guys seen my blue pen, with a green top, that has red ink, anywhere!?" Asked Tweek nervously.

"He needs it for his homework, I offered him mine but he wouldn't take it." Said Craig sounding bored (as usual).

"Homework! Its the holidays! Why is he doing homework!?" Asked Kyle.

"Nevermind that! Have either of you two seen Monty Python's Flying Circus?" Asked Stan interrupting.

"Yes!" Said Tweek forgetting about his pen for a moment.  
"We both love that show, what was your favourite sketch again Craig?"

"The fish slapping dance." He answered.

""The fish slapping dance"!?" Asked Butters. "Why what in the world is "The fish slapping dance"!?"

"Sorry Butters, you wouldn't understand." Said Stan.  
"But seriously, have neither of you ever seen Monty Python's Flying Circus, ever?"

"Nope!" Said Kyle and Butters in unison.

"Okay, that's it! All five of us are going to stay up, all night, and watch Monty Python  
until we either die from laughing, or, die from starving." Said Stan.

"Could we die from old age instead?" Asked Butters with a serious look on his face.

"Sure buddy, sure." Said Stan.


	2. The Flying Circus

Many hours flew by, Kyle and Butters slowly starting to love Monty Python.  
They started with the movies, which they loved, and then they watched...  
Monty Python's Flying Circus!

"Dude, we've been here for two and a half days!" Said Kyle.

"So do you two like it?" Asked Stan.

"Yes!" Replied Kyle and Butters.

"Do you love it?" Asked Stan again.

"Yeeeeeeees!!!!" They screamed.

Many more hours flew by. And slowly more people wandered into Stan's house,  
wondering what they were watching, and after a while, the entire town was taken over by Pythonists.  
They would greet eachother on the street by doing silly walks and saying,  
"Eaten any spam lately?".  
Wow what an amazing world that would be.  
Or at least it would have been, if a powercut hadn't have caused the TV to explode.

"Whoa!" Shouted Stan as bits of TV were blasted in his direction.

"Damb it!" Said Craig. "I was enjoying that!"

"We all were." Said Kyle.

"Well now there's only one way to see more Monty Python,  
we have to meet them in person!!" Said Stan.

"I have just one question. How?" Asked Butters.

"We will drive to them." Replied Stan.

"Who will drive us?" Asked Kyle.

"My dad." Answered Stan as he turned to his father.  
"Dad, can you drive us to England?"

"Sure I can, I can do anything." He replied.


	3. Off to England

So Stan, Kyle, Butters, Tweek, Craig and Randy all jumped in to Randy's car,  
Cartman wanted to go with them, but nobody else wanted him to, so, he didn't.

They set off down the road for a few miles, but then they stopped suddenly.

"Sooo, which road should we take?" Asked Randy.  
"The France road, or, the England road?"

"My sixth sense says that we should take the England road." Said Craig sarcastically.

"Okay, if you say so." Said Randy as he turned to corner, blatantly ignoring the stop sign that was on full display,  
not covered, by anything, whatsoever, I mean it was very clearly there it's like he...

Anyway, after a few hours, okay lots of hours, they reached England.

"Okay, bye Dad!" Said Stan getting out of the car.

"Bye Stan! Be back home for tea!" Said Randy as he set off down the road back home.

"Guys, we're in England!" Said Kyle.

"Yaaaaay." Said the others.

"So, what now?" Asked Butters.

"Well first, we are going to go to the best places in england, and first up is...  
Yorkshire!"

"Really, Yorkshire. I heard they have drugs there.  
Especially in Dewsbury, hence the name, "Doomsbury"!" Said Kyle.

"Thanks Kyle for your imput." Said Stan.

""Doomsbury" why that's a funny name for a place." Said Butters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify, Yorkshire is a very beautiful place, and I do suggest going there, since I have lived there for my entire life.  
> But what I said about Dewsbury is true, just don't go there.  
> Lots of stabbing, y'know.


	4. The Van

After a while the boys come to the conclusion that to get around England,  
they will probably need a vehicle of some kind.  
So they somehow manage to steal a minivan using a very clever technique...  
Just stealing it.

So after they had stolen the van, they went to the one place on the  
"List of places to go in Yorkshire" that wasn't Dewsbury: London.

"Okay, who wrote "London" on the "List of places to go in Yorkshire" list?" Asked Stan.

"Aww, how did you notice!?" Asked Craig.

"Because London isn't in Yorkshire!" He answered.

"Isn't it?" Asked Craig.

"No." Replied Stan.

"So, where are we going?" Asked Butters.

"Well I think we might aswell start on our  
"Monty Python member's living places in which they are living" list." He replied.

"So who are we starting with?" Asked Kyle.

"Graham Chapman." Answered Stan.

"Isn't he dead?" Asked Butters.

"So, ever head of a "graveyard" Butters?" Replied Stan, sarcastically.

"Wow. I'm depressed already." Said Tweek.

"Don't be." Said Craig.

"Why?" Asked Tweek.

"Just, don't." He replied.


	5. The Almost Graveyard

After the long drive to the graveyard, they realised that none of them really wanted to go to a graveyard,  
so they played a four hour game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide whether to go in or not...

 

...It was a draw.

 

"So... Are we going in or not?" Asked Stan.

"Well none of us want to." Replied Kyle.

"Meaning?" Asked Stan.

"NO! What else do you think I meant!?" Screamed Kyle, raising his voice to the point where nobody really cared.

"I know..." Said Stan. "...why don't we just send Butters in?"

"What an absolutely brilliant idea!" Commented Kyle. "Well Butters, it seem your..."  
He stopped when he noticed Butters was missing.  
"Where's Butters?" He asked.

"Um... I don't really know." Replied Stan.

"AGH!! Maybe he's been kidnapped! AGH!! What if I get kidnapped too!!" Cryed Tweek.

"Don't worry babe, I won't let anything happen to you." Said Craig, reassuringly.

"Awww... "Babe"... Awwww....." Said Stan, mocking him.

"Do you like the shape of your nose?" Asked Craig.

"Umm... Yes?" He replied.

"Well shut up then!" 

Stan was going to say some smart arse comment about the Theory of Relativity,  
when he saw a very familiar man walking down the road towards them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A man, in Yorkshire. Whoever could it be!?


	6. Phallic Anime

Stan's mouth dropped open and he tapped kyle on the shoulder, pointing to the man.

"Dude, it's him." He said.

"Who?" Asked Kyle.

"Michael Palin." He replied.

"Oh yeah, it is!" Exclaimed Kyle.

"So..." Said Craig. "...Should we go up to him?"

"We could wait for him to come to us." Said Stan.

"No choice now." Said Kyle. "Here he comes!"

He walks straight past them.

"Um. Mr. Palin?" Said Stan, nervously.

"Oh hello, I'm afraid I don't have time to sign any autographs today, sorry." He said.

"No no no no no!! We just wanted to meet you!" Said Kyle, excitedly.

"Oh all right then. Hello, I'm Michael Palin." He said shaking their hands.

"Um..." Started Stan. "...Where are you going?"

"Well I'm going to meet Eric to do a bit of writing." He answered.

"Eric Idle?" Said Kyle, ready to meet Eric (who was his favourite of the Pythons).

"Um... No." He said. "Eric Cartman."

All of the happiness in Kyle's face instantly faded away. "Eric Cartman!? The fat one!?"

"Excuse me little boy! It is extremly rude to call people fat...  
...But if you must know, yes the fat one." Said Michael.

"I bet your IQ is below three!" Shouted Kyle, not really noticing the small group  
of French tourists that were observing them from a distance.

"Well, I bet your Jewish!" Shouted Michael in defence.

"Yes I am!" Replied Kyle.

"Exactly!" And with that Michael turned and walked away.

"What a b*stard!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Up yours!!" He heard Michael shouting from down the street.

"Well that was, interesting?" Said Stan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, "Phallic Anime" is an anagram of "Michael Palin" hence the reason I used it as the title.


	7. The French Kidnappers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The word "frog" is used in the following chapter, I don't really know anyone who would be offended by that, but there.

He couldn't see, but he could feel that he was being dragged through  
some kind of hallway. The floor was cold, probably stone.

Suddenly the sack that he was being carried in was opened.

"Wha... Where am I?" He asked.

"You are leopold Stotch?" Asked a voice with a French accent.

"Um... Yes." He couldn't see who was speaking because of a bright  
light that was being shone in his face. "Who are you?"

"We are, The French Kidnappers!" The voice said.

Butters could have sworn he heard a piece of very dramatic music  
after the word "Kidnappers", but he never swore, so he didn't.

...

Stan ran after Michael Palin.

"Mr. Palin! I'm sorry about my friend! He's Jewish!" He shouted.

Michael slowed down giving Stan a chance to catch up.

"You haven't seen our friend Butters around have you?  
It's just he was here with us a few minutes ago, and now we can't find him." Stan said.

"What does he look like." Asked Michael.

"Like me but with different hair, clothes and without a hat." He replied.

"Oh yes I did! I saw him wandering off with those bloody frogs!" Said Michael.

"Who?" Asked Stan.

"Those French tourists!" Explained Michael, pointing to the group that were watching them.

"Um... I think they heard you." Said Stan.

"Oh, sh*t!" Exclaimed Michael as the Tourists started to run straight at them,  
in which they ran in the opposite direction (duh).


	8. The RFSPUWF

After a few hours of running, Stan and Michael got tired, so they took a break,  
and in, that break, they, were, kid, napped, by, The, F, ren, ch, K, idnapper, s.

They were both bundled into a sack, and dragged into the lair of these  
weird French people (but then again, all French people are a bit weird).

After a few minutes of making silly noises,  
their kidnappers released them from the sack.

"Oh thank god! I couldn't breathe in there!" Exclaimed Michael.

"I could." Said Stan, sounding like a right git.

"Oh, I do apologise! Mr. La-di-da Poof!" Shouted Michael, he then turned  
to the light which he presumed the kidnappers were behind. "And who the hell are you!?"

"We are the RFSPUWF." A voice answered.

"Who?" Asked Stan.

"The Royal French Society for the Prevention of the Use of the Word "Frog"." The voice continued.

"Why can't we say "frog"?" Asked Stan. "Frog, froggety frog, frog, frog!"

One of the kidnappers stepped out from the light, pulled out a pistol and shot Stan in the stomach,  
just below the top of the stomach, and just above the bottom of the stomach,  
sort of like, in the middle of the stomach.

He thought he had died, but obviously he hadn't because if he had died  
he wouldn't we able to think that he had died in the first place... Duh!!

...

Tweek, Craig and Kyle were just standing around, waiting for Stan and Butters to show up.

Suddenly Butters did show up, with a fresh pair of trousers...

"Oh, hi Butters." Said Kyle. "Where have you been?"

"I just had a bit of an... Accident." He replied.

"Well you just missed Michael Palin." Stated Craig.

"Aww, he was my favourite." Said Butters.


	9. Planes, trains and taxis

Stan had been gone for three whole days, and Wendy was starting to get worried.

"He said he was only going to be away for a day! Where could he be!?" She asked.

"Well, where did he go?" Asked Bebe, who was staying for a sleepover  
(because that's what girls do, right?).

"England." Answered Wendy.

"England!? That's 4,649 miles away!" Shouted Bebe, spitting out her mutant tea (coffee).

"I know! I'm so worried." Replied Wendy.

"Don't worry. He'll be fine." Said Bebe.

Wendy then jumped out of the window, ran to the airport, got on a plane, arrived at England,  
got on a train, went to Yorkshire, got in a taxi, found Tweek, Craig and Kyle, continued the story.

"Where's Stan!?" She asked.

"Oh, him and Michael Palin were chased down the road by some French tourists." Answered Kyle.

"Oh, goddammit!" She replied.

...

Back in the possession of the RFSPUWF, Stan was starting to miss Wendy.

"I hope she's doing alright." He said to himself.

"I'm sure she will be fine." Said Michael Palin.

"You don't even know her. For all you know, she could already be braindead." Stated Stan.

"Well, what is she like." Asked Michael.

"She's kind (lie), she's loving (lie), and she's beautiful (not lie)." Answered Stan.

"So she's a heartless b*tch?" Asked Michael.

"I never said that!" Defended Stan.

"No. But you thought it." Stated Michael.

"Wha... How did you know that!?" Asked Stan, baffled.

"Well, I am one of the gods." Answered Michael.

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Said Stan.


	10. [Random Title That Doesn't Matter]

"Well where did they go!?" Asked Wendy.

"Um... That way." Answered Craig, pointing down the road.

"Oh thanks, that really helps." Said Wendy, sarcastically.

"Well it did a bit." Said Craig.

"How?" Asked Wendy.

"Well, I could have pointed THAT way." He answered, pointing in the other direction.

"Listen, if your not going to contribute to the discussion, don't speak." Said Wendy.

"Shut up, you... Girl." Replied Craig.

"Is that meant to be an insult?" Asked Wendy.

"Um... Yes?" He answered.

...

Stan and Michael were still chained to the wall in the kidnappers lair.

"...So then she said "maybe we can kiss tonight staaan"."

"And then you puked on her?" Asked Michael.

"Yep." He answered.

"Oh. What a classic!" Said Michael.

"So." Started Stan. "What are you going to be doing soon?"

"Well, were going to be making another film." Answered Michael.

"Oh, what's it called?" Asked Stan.

"Jesus Christ: Lust for Glory: Part 47." Michael answered.

"Well, that's given me hope." Said Stan.

Suddenly the French tourists came into the room.

"What do you gits want?" Asked Michael.

"We have a challenge for you." The leader answered.

"Well, what is it?" Asked Stan.


	11. The Challenge

"Well?" Asked Stan.

"First, you must get us... A SHRUBBERY!!" Answered the man.

"Ooh, the gits!" Shouted Michael.

"A shrubbery!?" Asked Stan.

"No, not a shrubbery. What's that thing that looks  
a bit like a shrubbery, but isn't one." Asked the man.

"A mailbox?" Asked Michael.

"No..." Answered the man.

"A small patch of brown liquid?" Asked Stan.

"YES! Yes, that's it. You must get us a small patch of, BROWN LIQUID!!" Said the man.

"So... How?" Asked Stan.

"How the hell should we know? You're the ones who have to do it." Said the man.

"How are you going to stop us from running away?" Asked Stan.

The man pulled a small device out of his pocket, and placed it around Stan's ankle.

"If you try to escape us, we will detonate this device,  
which has enough power to blast a hole in the atmosphere." Stated the man.

"Oh." Said Stan.

The man untied them.

"Now, go!" Said the man.

Stan and Michael left the building and headed down the street.

"So Michael, where do you want to look first?" Asked Stan. "Michael?"

He look around, it took him a moment to realise that  
Michael was half way up the road away from him.

"Michael!! Where are you going!?" He asked.

"Bugger you! I'm off!" He answered.


	12. A Rather Small Argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The following chapter contains the word "arse". PC b*stards have been warned.

Stan was left wondering through the streets of a specific area of Yorkshire,  
(don't ask me where, how the hell should I know?).

As he was walking down the road, he saw Kyle, Tweek, Craig, Butters and Wendy.  
He wanted to approach them, but he knew that if he did that, they would detonate the device,  
not only killing him, but also Wendy.

...And Kyle...

...And Tweek, and Craig...

...And Butters.

So... He went anyway.

"Hi guys!" He said as he approached them.

"Stan!!" Said Wendy as she hugged him.

"Oh, just so you guys know, I have an explosive device attached to my ankle.  
And if it goes off, we will all die." He said, leaving them shocked.

"Oh... Okay." Said Kyle. "So, can we disable it?"

"Yes. We need to find... A SHRUBBERY!!" Answered Stan.

"Well I can do that!" Exclaimed Craig, sounding like a right arsehole.

Not a left arsehole...

Not a middle arsehole...

But a right arsehole.

"How?" Asked Tweek.

"With intelligence!" Answered Craig.

"You did say that YOU could do that?" Asked Stan.

"Yep!" Answered Craig.

"Good luck!" Said Stan, as he, Kyle, Wendy and Butters walked away.

"Well, at least I have you Tweek." Said Craig.

It took him a moment to realise that Tweek had walked away with them.

"Tweek!?" He said. "Goddammit!!!"


	13. The Quest for the Holy Shrubbery Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the plain silliness of the following chapter.

Much to the boy's (and Wendy's) surprise,  
there aren't many shrubbery shops in Yorkshire.

So in Yorkshire, the fairly simple task of buying a shrubbery,  
is extremely difficult.

"So how do we?" Asked Stan.

"I'll get to that in a minute!" Answered the author.

...Anyway. Did you guys here about those australian  
huntsman spiders!? Frickin' huge!

Sorry. I'm not on task today.

"Can you get on with writing the f***ing story please!?"  
Asked Stan, getting p*ssed off.

"Yes, theoretically." Answered the author, behaving like a d*ck.

Wait! So now I'M a d*ck!?

Yes, yes you are!

(For those of you at home, the author is now having  
an argument with himself).

Shut up Mr. Brackets!

(You shut up you b*st*rd!!).


	14. The Quest for the Holy Shrubbery Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored and decided to add a bit.

While Craig was just standing there, wondering what to do with himself,  
the others were actually looking for actual shrubberies, actually.

"So, where would one sell shrubberies?" Asked Stan.

"In a shrubbery shop." Answered Wendy.

"And where would one find a shrubbery shop?" Asked Stan.

"I don't know. Ask him!" Said Wendy, pointing at a typical Yorkshireman  
(Flatcap, beer, you get the picture).

"I can't speak Yorkshire!" Stated Stan.

"Step back! I'll deal with this!" Said Tweek, as he aproached the man.  
"Aye up mate!" He said.

"Wot?" Asked the man.

"Um... I'm just 'ere wid me buds while we gettin' shrubberies." Answered Tweek.

"You 'ent from 'round here are ya'?" Asked the man.

"No, not really." Said Tweek, looking disapointed with himself.

"Come 'ere son, lemme' tell ya' a story 'bout the first time I met a foreigner." He said.  
"He came up to me, and I bit 'is nose off!"


End file.
